Wednesday, September 14, 2011

PARENTING TIPS-By Rohaya Masod

I would like to share with you excellent parenting tips written by a good friend of mine . She is Assoc. Prof. Dr. Harlina Halizah Siraj. Consultant O&G in UKM Medical Centre and Head of Personal Professional Development Unit, Medical Education Department, UKM Medical Faculty. Read on and lets try to practise them.


"I am a blessed mother of three beautiful living children and a deceased
son since 1993 plus thousands more medical students since 1997. I
started writing these tips as FB page entry since June 29th, 2011. If
you can benefit from these, let's share them with as many parents out
there)



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.1 - Strive to
be the best role model to your children. Make them proud of you first
before you can expect them to make you proud. How about asking this
question to your adolescent kids today : ` Have I ever made you proud,
son/daughter?' Reflect on the answer, if you're gonna get one.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.2 - Display your commitment, affection and
love for each other (as parents & couple) for your children to see.
Put on your best smiles the moment you step into the house, no matter
how bad things are at work. Make your home as the sanctuary & heaven
on earth for the kids. Keep it warm & cozy with your prayers and
unconditional love for everyone.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 3 - Avoid degrading or talking bad about your spouse
in front of the children. Remember, it is their father/mother you're
complaining about. Don't try to win them over & make them go against



your spouse. That's not win-lose, in fact, it is definitely a



lose-lose!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 4 -



Appreciate every single deed and help you received from your children.



Thank them, praise them - loud and clear for everybody to hear. Put on



your best smile while thanking them. You have just made up their day



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 5 - Practice what you preach. But don't



preach every time you talk to the children. It might sound like a good



sermon to you, but to them, it is simply a nag! Don't ever begin your



sentence with ` When I was your age,..'. If you do, just watch their



eyes rolling up & their ears turning deaf.



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 6 - Provide spiritual guide to your children -



they need the framework & structure. Never neglect spirituality in



everything you do. Pray together as much as you could. Read the Quran



and reflect on its meaning. Convince them, spiritual health is as



important (if not more) as physical, mental & emotional health.



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 7 - Apologize for your mistakes and



shortcomings, tho' sorry is the hardest word, esp. for parents. We can



be wrong too. The children need to be reminded that they're being raised



by HUMAN BEINGS, not angels. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes. This



might be the most difficult tip to practise!



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 8 - Allow some space for your adolescents to



make decisions and guide them from there. Trust them. Who else will if



not you, the parent who raised them up! Don't doubt your parenting.



Avoid suffocating them with your over-protectiveness. Let them learn



from their mistakes.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no 9



- Introduce your children to your friends/colleagues. Exhibit how much



you appreciate them & proud to be associated with them. Only then



you could expect your kids to introduced their friends to you!



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 10 - Learn about your children's love



languages. Each has a different, dominant type, tho' they might come



from the same womb. Manage the diversity. Adapt the best parenting



method for each of them. Get feedback - that's the only way to improve.







SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 11 - Thank Allah everyday for selecting you,



of all the parents in the world, to be THE parent to these beautiful



children. Feel honoured by the privileges of being a parent. Enjoy your



parenthood - despite the hardship, pain, worries and sleepless nights



(not mentioning the big bucks). Cherish your role - show how much you



love being a parent!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.



12 - Treasure your own parents, and let the children realize how much



you love them. Visit their graves (if they are no longer alive) &



tell the children amazing stories about their deceased grandparents. If



they're still alive, allow the children to spend their holidays



together. Allow grandparents to occupy a special place in the children's



hearts & lives.







SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.



13 - Involve the children in making plans for the family - renovating



the house, buying a new car, selecting gifts etc. Best time to teach



them about family value & traditions. Let them suggest, however



indicate who's the boss. Be fair, sporting and reasonable - this is when



the children learn the rules of the game.



SURVIVAL TIPS



FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 14 - Instill love for books & knowledge into



your children's lives. Hang around in bookshops & never miss the



annual book fair. Being digital natives, introduce them to e-books,



digital readers & tablets. Read together as a family. You're



enriching them with a legacy.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS :



Tip no. 15 - Be fair in showing off your affection to each of your



children. Deal with sibling rivalry - do not just ignore it. Make time



to understand the dynamics, address the dissatisfaction, attend to each



complaint. Put yourself in their shoes - they always see things



differently!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 16 -



Learn to say NO to your children, esp. on matters of principles. Do not



compromise your values to accommodate their demands. Provide guidance,



framework & structure. They need those to lead a successful &



meaningful future.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.



17 - Avoid calling your children `problematic' - esp when you can't



handle them. Let's rephrase - they are children with `difficulties' -



varying degrees, of course. Some quite trivial, some really massive!



They need your help & assistance. Do not give up or abandon them



now!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 18 - Support



each other in your parenting process. Display solidarity, restrain from



open contradiction on parenting styles. Kids tend to be manipulative if



they know you both have disagreement. Single parents, engage others



(family, close friends) to support you. You shouldn't shoulder these



duties alone!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 19 -



Instill sense of belonging among your children. Train the young ones to



respect the elder siblings, vice versa. Keep them closely knitted.Treat



them equally, avoid favoritism. Express unconditional love. Everyone



matters & has a special, dedicated place in everybody's heart.



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 20 - Befriend your adolescent kids - if



possible be their best friend . Avoid being their worst enemy. No doubt



parenting adolescents can be most challenging, but they're also facing



the most difficult phase of their lives. Friends are not judgmental,



loyal and keep secrets well, while enemies despise & couldn't stand



one another.Which one is you?



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS :



Tip no. 21 - Respond appropriately when others complained about your



children's misbehavior/misconduct. Do not take it personally. Do not



stage war or threaten to take legal action against the complainant



before investigating thoroughly. It takes the whole world (not just a



village) to raise a child these days.



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR



PARENTS : Tip no. 22 - Make time to read the Quran together with your



children, especially the adolescents. Ponder on the translation. Help



each other to memorize some parts of the Quran. Each child should have



his/her own Quran (+ translation) hardcopy, besides a mobile phone @



laptop!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 23 - Raise



your boys to be caring, thoughtful and responsible men. Never humiliate



them in front of others, esp the siblings. Be a good listener and



mind-reader. Listen to his silence. Read his body languages. Your



teenage boy is sending out a message : SOS, help me survive this rapids



of adolescence! Anybody listening out there?



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 24 - Engage in intellectual discussion with



your spouse - on issues of environment, politics, socio-economics.



Include the children in the discourse, get their opinions. Avoid



gossiping about the neighbours/artists/politicians. Stop quarelling over



petty matters. Enlighten your home with rays of wisdom and virtues.



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 25 - Play with your toddlers ( below five



years) - that was what Saidina Ali ra proposed. Dads, carry them over



your shoulders - give them the chance to see the world from where you



stand. Rasulullah SAW did that to his grandsons. The child psychologists



agreed that is the best way to carry your toddler!



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 26 - Pay attention to your adolescent girl.



She really wanna know whether she inherits your beauty, Mum! She



desperately needs to know whether you think she's pretty and



presentable, Dad! Assure her that in your eyes - she is the most



beautiful and charming. She needs that affirmation to face the world of



fake beauty outside!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.



27 - Discipline your children (esp those between 7-12 years of age)



with love. Sound familiar,eh? How can that be possible? If you really



love them, train your children with discipline, self-restraint and



strong will. Instill consistency and high standard of self-management.



Unfortunately, it all has to start with you first!



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 28 - Watch your children sleeping. See how



innocent and peaceful they are! Thank Allah for trusting you to look



after His beautiful, tender creatures. Promise Allah that you will



seriously take good care of them. Keep to your promise - never ever



forget that!



SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip



no. 29 - Listen to your children. I really mean it. LISTEN to their



stories, laugh at their jokes and answer their questions. Give your



undivided attention if they need you to listen to their worries,



complaints etc. Look into their eyes. Once they're assured that you care



enough for them, they are ready to face ANY challenges out there!



SURVIVAL



TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 30 - Groom your children with good manners -



train them to say`Please', `Thank you', `Excuse me' etc. Teach them the



right body language, facial expression and voice intonation that goes



along with those pleasant words. Explain what rudeness means, make them



aware of social norms & cultural values surrounding them surrounding them.



__._,_.___



.

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Self Check List 4Me and U

Suka sgt baca posting dr ayu safieza....blog http://kitchencolours.blogspot.com/ tentang self check list..peringatan untuk diri sendiri..hope ayu tak kisah....saya letak kat sini..

Self Check List

4Me and U

  • ~ Menutup aurat sepenuhnya
  • ~ Berisgtifar apabila buat benda laqa'
  • ~ Bersyukur dengan ucapan alhamdulillah
  • ~ Membaca al-Mulk dan witir sebelum lena
  • ~ Mendoakan orang lain
  • ~ Memaafkan kesalahan orang lain
  • ~ Membaca Al Matsurat selepas subuh dan asar
  • ~ Membaca dan menghayati al-Quran setiap hari
  • ~ Taat pada suami & ibu bapa
  • ~ Bersabar mendidik anak
  • ~ Mengingati mati sekerap mungkin
  • ~ Merasa diri hina dan buruk dihadapanNYA
  • ~ Berfikir tentang kekuasaan Allah
  • ~ Bangun qiam at least seminggu sekali
  • ~ Berpuasa 8 kali sebulan
  • ~ Solat 5 waktu di awal masa
  • ~Berfikiran positif dan gembirakan diri dan orang lain
  • ~Berbaik sangka, jauhi berduka & akui kelemahan diri
  • ~Berusaha memperbaiki diri
  • ~Jaga makan, minum dan lakukan senaman
  • ~Jaga mata, lidah dan hati
  • ~Jaga pergaulan